First things first, this is not a comprehensive summer movie preview. If you're looking for a full list of the upcoming releases I, for one, would recommend picking up a copy of last week's Entertainment Weekly (look for the one with XMen on the cover).
Instead, here's a short
list of lesser-known films that may otherwise slip through the cracks
of the big-budget action tentpoles that make up the majority of the
summer season. And to be clear, we here at Wood's Stock love big-budget
action tentpoles and are giddy with excitement over Guardians of the
Galaxy, pleasantly curious about Dawn of the Planet of the Apes,
anxiously optimistic about The Edge of Tomorrow and are really, really, hoping we don't get burned again by Godzilla.
a cinematic diet that consists entirely of popcorn is unhealthy, so
here's some pallette cleansing comedies and independent films to keep an
eye on over the next four months. *Note* unlike last year, the summer indie films have been slow to put out their theatrical trailers. Throw me a frickin bone, amirite?
the latest film from Richard Linklater, the director of the 'Before'
trilogy, we see the story of Mason (Ellar Coltrane) as he ages from a
young boy to a young man. This isn't achieved by clever casting or
digital trickery a la Benjamin Button, it's the result of an ambitious
strategy that saw the cast and crew of Boyhood reunite intermittently to film the movie over the space of 12 years, literally capturing the passage of time.
a gimmick, to be sure, but one that by most accounts has been combined
with a thoughtful, emotional script to pay of large dividends as a
singularly unique cinematic experience. And if anyone can pull it off
it's Linklater, who has proved with the Before films a penchant for
storytelling that appears effortlessly natural, mining the seeming
mundanities of everyday relationships for dramatic gold.
Also, bonus points for using Family of the Year's "Hero" for the trailer track (hey, didn't One Wood Uke cover that once?)
Boyhood opens in limited release on July 11
Magic in the Moonlight
In keeping with director Woody Allen's style, relatively little is known about Magic in the Moonlight, which is set in 1920's France and stars Emma Stone and Colin Firth and oh, who am I kidding, I'm already sold.
latest scandal notwithstanding, Allen has been on fire the last few
years. Midnight in Paris and Blue Jasmine were phenomenal and the
relatively meh reception toward To Rome With Love seems, in
hindsight, to have been a classic case of too-high expectations. Also
remember when I said Emma Stone and Colin Firth? and Woody Allen? AND
Magic in the Moonlight opens on July 25.
The Fault in our Stars
probably already read the book, and if you haven't then you've probably
been told innumerable times by your YA-reading friends that OMG YOU
HAVE TO READ THIS BOOK OMG SO SAD SO GOOD I JUST CAN'T RIGHT NOW!
I didn't love it, but I recognize the appeal and I've said many times
before that while I'm not personally drawn to YA literature I
nonetheless appreciate the film adaptations it inspires (see: Nick and
Norah, Perks, It's Kind of a Funny Story, Spectacular Now, etc.).
stars it-girl Shailene Woodley and Ansel Elgort as two cancer-stricken
teens who meet in a support group, fall helplessly into young love and
then, well you can probably guess but it's all about the journey or
something, right? The script and the book it's based on were both
written by John Green, who is something of a deity among YA circles, so
fans shouldn't have much to worry about and newcomers should bring
'Fault' opens on June 6.
A Million Ways to Die in the West
always had a soft spot for the humor of Seth McFarlane, which bounces
between high-brow and low-brow gags that trade crass vulgarity and dry
wit in equal measure (the horrendous CBS sitcom 'Dads' being the
exception that proves the rule). Take, for example, the much-discussed
"We Saw Your Boobs" number during last year's Oscars. It either
perpetuated Hollywood sexism and male gaze or it actually subverted
Hollywood sexism by criticizing male gaze, but still delivered an
impressively-staged piece of musical theater that benefited from
McFarlane's natural aptitude for showtunes.
And now there's 'West,'
McFarlane's live-action follow-up to the
funnier-than-it-had-any-right-to-be 'Ted.' Only this time, instead of
inhabiting a stuffed animal, McFarlane's actual face will appear on the
big screen as Albert, a wise guy ahead of his time living in the
American West circa 1882. The plot has something to do with Albert being
challenged by a gunslinger (Liam Neeson, natch!) and wooing Charlie
Theron, but it's safe to assume that "plot" will be frequently set aside
in service of comedic vignettes that largely revolve around accidental
and unnecessary death.
A Million Ways to Die in the West opens on May 30.
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Yes, that's another nude selfie. Let's not make a big deal about it OK?
For April's Treat Yo Self, I decided to try a session in a float tank, a.k.a an isolation tank, a.k.a a sensory deprivation tank. What that is, in essence, is a sound- and light-proof chamber filled with lukewarm salt water that you close around yourself and float in. It's used for relaxation and meditation and is advertised as a form of holistic alternative medicine for various ailments.
The nice woman at the spa told me that most of her clientele are men. Apparently 'Fear Factor' host Joe Rogan is a big Float advocate, and apparently Joe Rogan is a still a thing.
If you ever saw the atrocious 2003 film 'Daredevil' starring Ben Affleck, you may remember that 1) if given the right material, Colin Farrell would make a superb comic book villain and 2) Affleck's character sleeps in a float tank to dull his sonar-esque super powers.
I remember as a kid going swimming in the Great Salt Lake and being fascinated by how much the saltwater increases your buoyancy. Float tanks are like that. The water is only a few inches deep but you comfortably sit on top of the liquid, fully supported along your entire body.
When you first lie down, there is music playing softly to help lull you into a state of relaxation. You can also choose whether to turn off the light and close the lid fully, which really does plunge you into a state of absolute darkness and only the sound from inside the tank, which is minimal once you settle in and the music fades out.
It took me a little time to loosen up and relax. My body instinctively tried to support my head, which put a lot of tension in my neck. But once I finally let myself go full "rag doll" the experience was quite enjoyable, a lot like the Shavasana portion of a yoga practice, where you spend 5-10 minutes lying down and meditating after your workout. But the float session at Salt City Float Spa was 60 minutes, so it was essentially a full hour of shavasna, floating in water.
For this month's experience, I invited along my friend and colleague Jordan Allred. He and I met in college when we were two sides of the student journalism coin: he as manager of the of the student radio station and me as editor in chief of the student newspaper. Since then we've followed somewhat parallel paths, ending up at the same media organization and being romantically involved with a number of women in common through the years.
Jordan is a very skilled photographer, and just so happens to suffer from a fear of having his picture taken. I tried to find the scientific term for this and came upon two different terms – fotografizophobia and photogophobia – but neither have a wikipedia page or a Merriam-Webster entry, which leads me to believe neither have achieved a consensus state.
Regardless of what it's called, Jordan has it. Here's us on Halloween.
Here's us during our recent trip to Zion National Park
And Jordan's Facebook profile picture, before his account was deleted recently, was a simple white square. He's ok.
Properly pampered, we headed over to In-N-Out Burger to conduct our interview over some Double-Doubles (animal style, natch).
Wood's Stock: Who are you and what do you do?
Jordan Allred: I’m Jordan Allred. I work as a web editor. I grew up in Montana in a large family and moved to Utah to go to school. I always knew I wanted to do journalism so I studied broadcast. While I was there I got involved in a couple of radio stations including the student radio station at Utah State and then moved to Salt Lake City, decided to grow up and be an adult, which is the worst decision I’ve ever made.
I’m very into sports. Athletics is a huge part of my life; always has been, always will be. For example I coach football, just started a new coaching job out at Kearns. I love photography and that’s probably my next biggest passion and Utah is such a great place to do any of that. Utah has got it all. It’s great for all the hobbies I love to do. I never thought I’d like living in Utah until I started spending more time on my hobbies and now it’s not so bad.
WS: What did you think of the float tank?
JA: It was a different experience. I’ve never experienced anything like that.
WS: Walk me through it. What’s the process? How did it feel? Paint me a word picture.
JA: The whole thing seems odd to me. I normally don’t do these sort of things, these soft sciences, the stuff that there isn’t a lot of hard facts behind. So when we got there and I see these tanks and we’re watching this tutorial video I thought “what is this weird thing that we’re about to do? I feel like I’m about to join a cult or something.”
But then we get in there and you take a shower, clean yourself off, then you get into this tank and almost immediately you realize it’s completely different. There’s only about a foot of water in there and you’re not touching bottom, you’re immediately floating up at the top and as soon as you relax into that thing you really don’t even feel the water. You just feel yourself. You’re sort of there and floating.
WS: And it’s not like regular floating. How would you describe the way it feels?
JA: That is the most difficult thing. I guess in my mind I imagined it was what it feels like to float on a cloud, just because I have nothing else to compare it to. I’ve never had that experience before, but it just felt comfortable and … I don’t know.
WS: Were you immediately comfortable or did it take you a minute to settle in?
JA: It didn’t take me long. Probably the first minute I was situating my body. You get your bearings, like how far you have until your head will touch an edge. For the most part I had my hands off to my sides and so you see how far you can drift to the right or to the left before you touch the boundaries of this chamber.
It’s a little wobbly at first but the second that you completely relax, you just go into this very comfortable state and you’re really not doing much in the way of moving. You’re in the middle of this chamber and I didn’t even know which way it was that I was drifting, that’s how unaware you are of your surroundings. All the sudden I would get a light bump on my head and I’d realized I’d floated to the top, then a second later my feet would touch, but it was all unexpected. And part of that was having it completely dark in there.
WS: You went lights out?
JA: Yeah I turned the lights off and had them off the entire time.
WS: Did you shut the lid or leave it open?
JA: I had to leave it open just a little bit because it was difficult to breath if you had it shut all the way. It gets very humid in there very fast. So I cracked it just a couple of inches and that really helped.
WS: Let’s talk about photography. You are a gentleman who does not have your picture taken.
JA: Never. I hate being in photos, but especially photos of my face. I never let my face be photographed but even just being in a photo where my back is turned or whatever, I can’t stand it.
WS: Help me understand that. Is it that you dislike being photographed or is that you can not allow yourself to be photographed?
JA: I’ve given it a lot of thought and I’ve had a lot of people try to help me out with this and figure out exactly what’s what. I think the closest I’ve come to describing it is it’s just a complete fear of having my photograph taken. It just terrifies me. The thought of somebody pointing a camera at me, that’s probably the most nervous I ever get when it comes to anything.
WS: Has it always been like that? I don’t want to get political but is this a lifestyle choice or were you born this way?
JA: I probably was born this way but you just don’t realize these things as you’re growing up as a kid, figuring things out. I always felt a little uncomfortable with having my photo taken but it was about the time that college rolled around that I was like, “I don’t have to have my photo taken if I don’t want to.” So I just stopped, completely. People would invite me to be in photos with them and I would just tell them “No. No thank you.”
That was probably a bad choice for me to make because all it did was make me fear having my photo taken more. So I’ve probably done two or three family photos since then and those make me uneasy.
WS: I’ve traveled with you and one of the things you do when you travel is take pictures of people on the street.
JA: I love taking random photos of random people, people that I’ll never see again.
WS: I find that ironic. You can’t stand having your picture taken but you love taking pictures of other people?
JA: It’s hypocritical of me; I know it. At the same time most people don’t mind and when I’m photographing people that I don’t know I always make sure that I get their permission beforehand.
WS: You describe it as a fear and most people can relate to a fear of spiders or snakes. If a person were to walk into this room brandishing a camera and snapping pictures, what happens to you?
JA: I’ve been in rooms before where somebody is making the rounds with a camera, at parties or whatever, and they want to take photos. The second that I see that happening I get that same fear that you get with anything that you’re afraid of. I get that gut reaction like ‘Oh no, I do not want this happening to me.” And so I just plan my escape. I get out of the way and sometimes I end up getting cornered and in that case I tell people ‘no thank you.’
WS: You’re also a football coach. Are you tough love or are you Coach Taylor from Friday Night Lights?
JA: I’m a very hard coach because I want to make sure that anytime you’re practicing the entire reason you’re practicing is to get better. I’m always tough on my players because I say “look, let’s not waste time out of practice. Everything that we do, let’s make sure we’re doing it right, let’s make sure we’re making ourselves better” and therefore I don’t tolerate laziness, I don’t tolerate people not trying or giving it their best. I don’t tolerate bad attitudes and so that comes across as very harsh but when somebody realizes “look if I give my best effort, that’s all he’s asking of me” then we’ll be on good terms.
Most athletes end up figuring that out. All I’m doing is trying to help them. I’m not doing it to be a jerk. I’m not doing it because of me. It’s all because of them and all I want is for them to get better and sometimes you just need somebody to push you to make you a little better.
WS: Would you recommend the float spa to someone?
JA: Beforehand I don’t think I would have. But after doing it I think that I would and I wouldn’t be surprised if I do it again. It was a different experience and I feel pretty relaxed. The only time that I really think that you get your body on that level of relaxation is when you’re sleeping. It’s the only time that I’ve been awake and felt that relaxed.
WS: Anything you need to promote?
JA: Promote? No.
WS: Is your team going to take state?
JA: I will tell people to come to Kearns High games. We have a very young team, but in a couple of years we will be very good. The team hasn’t competed for a state title since, I think, 1982, and I think that will change in two years. So people will want to watch out for that.
Monday, April 14, 2014
I can’t say for sure that was the genesis of “Draft Day,” but the film is nonetheless haunted by the ghost of ‘Moneyball’ while delivering a story about NFL player selection that dangles like a piñata overstuffed with character clichés, suspiciously convenient plot points and shots of Kevin Costner leaning against a desk with his arms crossed.
Costner stars as Sonny Weaver, the general manager of the Cleveland Browns saddled with familial baggage in the form of his recently deceased father and strained relationship – not fully explained – with his mother. He awakes on draft day to the knowledge that his co-worker/secret girlfriend played by Jennifer Garner – with whom he shares zero on-screen chemistry – is pregnant. Oh, and the team owner tells him in no uncertain terms that he needs to make a big splash in the draft or lose his job.
As if that weren't enough melodrama, we also learn that the Brown’s quarterback was injured midway through the last season, and a late trade proposal materializes from the 1st-pick holding Seatle Seahawks that would allow Sonny to pick up Heisman winner and likely first pick QB Bo Callahan (played by Josh Pence, the secret Winklevoss from 'The Social Network' finally allowed to show his face).
From there the story advances relatively slowly toward a literal ticking clock when Sonny must make some big decisions, although he’s distracted by his fumbling new intern, shade-throwing from Gardner, insubordination from his coach (Dennis Leary) and a gnawing feeling in his gut that party-boy Callahan isn’t the man for the job. That sounds more entertaining than it is, as what actually transpires on screen is a rotating backdrop of cubicle farms and storage closets as Costner paces around the team's executive office space for two hours.
In the final 30 minutes, Draft Day shows us a glimpse of the fast-paced banter-filled gamesmanship film it could’ve been, but it is hardly a game-winning Hail Mary pass after scrambling in the pocket for so long. The film’s resolution is a little too tidy, the stakes never seem to be very high and at no point do any of the characters present us with a compelling reason for why we should be invested in the outcome.
With neither the fist-pumping gridiron action of a typical sports film nor the nuanced emotion of a character drama, Draft Day manages to pull the worst of columns A and B to deliver a story about football that is both innocuous and unmemorable. It lacks sizzle, with little reverence to the game and investing too heavily in a half-baked romantic subplot, and ultimately comes away with what amounts to a low-scoring tie.
*'Draft Day' opens nationwide on Friday, April 11.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
I would issue a spoiler alert, but something has to be of value in order to spoil. Instead, we have the final episode of How I Met Your Mother, in which everything the show has been building to is tossed aside with callous abandon and the only characters to get out unscathed are Marshmallow and Lilypad.
Truly, I'm more upset right now than I was after watching the Red Wedding. Senseless violence sounds like a warm blanket after what now feels like a nine-year emotional manipulation.
Sorry, I'll try and get it together. Let's begin.
On May 16, 2011, the How I Met Your Mother season 6 finale aired on CBS. In that episode, fans learned that the predestined wedding where Ted Mosby would meet the future mother of his children was actually that of his best friend/wingman Barney Stinson.
In the three years that followed (THREE YEARS!) audiences watched the evolution of Barney Stinson from a philandering cad to more mature and loving adult who was ready to commit and marry Robin Cherbowsky. Their wedding took place last week, in a very touching episode that was hopeful and nostalgic for fans of the show.
In 15 minutes, Monday's series finale laid waste to that relationship, showing us a future in which Barney and Robin enjoy three tumultuous years before calling it quits, allowing Barney to revert entirely back to his philandering ways and rendering the progression of the last three years moot in the process. Those feels you feeled during the wedding episode? Pointless.
But that was nothing, because the minute the couple's eventual divorce was made known, the proverbial writing was on the wall for our protagonist and the titular mother. We were already teased that her life would be cut short by disease a few weeks ago, and with Robin and Barney's union dissolved it was readily apparent how the show would end.
In 15 minutes the writers of How I Met Your Mother undid three years of character development for Mr. and Mrs. Stinson, and cheapened a nine-year search for Mrs. Mosby.
Sure, Ted gave a lovely monologue about how much his time with Tracy (*scoff*, Tracy) had meant to him and how he valued every moment with her. It's a nice sentiment and not hard to believe that in the reality of the show is true. But as a viewer, forced to consume a loving couple's entire 10-year relationship over the space of an hour through a rapid-fire series of vignettes, it felt like lip service.
The Mother was not the end of Ted's story, but another diversion on a circular road that led him right back to where we began, blue french horn in hand, looking up into Robin's window. The final statement of HIMYM is that Ted's journey leads to Robin, and in another life they may have arrived there 20 years earlier without the necessity of killing off a very pretty brunette bass player.
The foundation of hope that supported the run of HIMYM, knowing that no matter how many times Ted fails he will eventually find the love of his life, crumbles. In fact, it's a lie.
Ted wasn't searching for the love of his life, he was merely looking for a fertile vessel to sire his children. The love of his life was there the whole time, and those of us who spent 9 years of Monday nights following along were dupes to expect otherwise.
It's especially crushing when last week's penultimate episode offered the perfect series sign-off. We watch the Stinson nuptials, we pass through the updates on our secondary characters, we see Mr. and Mrs. Mosby sharing their perfect "sometimes you just find things" exchange under the yellow umbrella, and that kids, is how I met your mother.
Beyond the flash-forwards the viewers had already seen (Marshall's judgeship, the first date, Barney and Robin waking up from a hangover in someone else's hotel room) the future would exist in the minds of the viewer, free to individually create the story they saw fit. Hopeful. Legendary.