I couldn't sleep tonight so on impulse I found myself reading through, well, it's not a diary but it's something I used to write in on occasion. Out of nowhere I cam across this thing that I wrote back on April 2nd, 2010.
I have no memory of writing this, none whatsoever. It doesn't even sound like me and if it weren't for the handwriting I don't think I'd believe that I actually did write it. Still, the coincidence was just to fun to ignore so here it is.
For those days when you place each egg carefully in a basket
and watch the sky come crumbling down.
When you look around at the smiling faces surrounding you
friends, family, all those that love you
yet you still feel alone.
When you don't have time to breathe
you're resume is empty and your only experience
is the time you spent swimming with sharks in your own soul.
When you feel lost in your own footsteps,
lost on the very ground you tread
on the schedule of every day.
You smile, but inside you mop the buckets that have spilled
even though you didn't have the strength to cry.
The ticking clocks spend the pocket change of life
as you stare at the ceiling, screaming at your eyelids to fall,
to remove you from this place,
the dreamless 'scape where there are no answers.
When you're lost in the sheets,
fighting to destroy the memory of an embrace you never knew you craved
and the women on the movies and the magazines and the tv shows
are all you have to love and all you have to say goodnight to
but are gone with the moon when morning comes.