Monday, December 14, 2009

The Playbook

On a recent episode of HIMYM, Barney displays "the playbook," a collection of schemes and shenanigans used to seduce women.

One such ploy was "The Ted Mosby," named after Barney's "Best" friend. It unfolds like this
1) Walk up to a woman in a bar holding a ring and looking forlorn
2) Explain that you were left at the alter and wait for the outpouring of sympathy
and then
3)! (wink*)

And in case you're keeping score, the Ted Mosby works.

If dreams came true and Barney Stinson was both real AND my best friend. I wonder what "The Ben Wood" would consist of. The best I could come up with would somehow involve my being a member of the press. For example:

The Journalist
1) Approach a woman at a bar and explain that you're writing an article about some activity in a metropolitan area.
2) Ask about her demographics, i.e. name, age, neighborhood etc. This will allow you to have an idea of her interests to exploit and you can ascertain her legal adult status.
3) Follow with a series of basic questions regarding the phony activity on which you are "reporting."
4) Tell her that you will need her phone number in case there are any "follow-up questions" that will need to be answered (common practice among journalists)
5) Thank her for her time and begin to leave, but hesitate and explain that although completely "unprofessional" you would like to buy her a drink/dinner/whatever and
6)! (wink*)
*Bonus Points) Tell her your name is Lorenzo Von Matterhorn and create a number of web pages to be found on a simple google search detailing your winning of the Pulitzer price, receiving the key to the city, and your book that is being published next summer

And in case your keeping score, The Ben Wood, a.k.a The Journalist, doesn't least not yet.

1 comment:

  1. It would totally work on me, but only if he told me his name was Lorenzo Von Matterhorn and he was a reporter from Germany with connections to European royalty. Then it would be.... ON.
    Oh yeah, and it DOES work on me. I met this one dude named Sharif outside a restaurant during a bomb scare in DC and he was wearing a media tag from BET. He told me he'd interviewed Lindsay Lohan and Kanye and Britney Spears and all sorts of people and then he gave me TWO numbers just in case he didn't answer one of his cell phones so we could meet up and he could get into any of the VIP rooms in the clubs in DC. He was so legit.