Wednesday, October 21, 2009

A Survey Of My Faults

In no particular order I:
  • am a jealous man.
  • am quick to judge people.
  • see the world in black and white.
  • am quickly and easily romantically smitten.
  • am stingy.
  • think that every male that I am not already acquainted with is a Tool.
  • think that every female that I am not already acquainted with is an enemy.
  • am overly competitive.
  • am quick to anger.
  • am generally not content.
  • am self-depreciating.
  • complain too much about my love life (submitted by Dave)
  • do not tan, only freckle.
  • am unlucky at love.
  • am unskilled at loneliness.
  • don't take good care of my shoes.
  • am bad with children.
  • am cripplingly introverted.
  • over-compensate for my introversion by being excessively loud.
  • am obsessive.
  • am compulsive.
  • burn bridges.
  • am spiritually dead inside.
  • am a cynic.
  • am snide.
  • am homophobic.
  • don't get enough sleep.
  • am cluttered.
  • am a shell of a man.
  • don't recycle.
  • don't floss.
  • am a cuddle slut.
  • meddle.
  • make too many innuendos.
  • am all talk.
  • can't whistle.
  • have allergies.
  • snore.
  • am technologically illiterate.
  • am a movie snob.
  • am a glutton for punishment.
  • am a glutton for pie.
  • sing in the shower.
  • sing at the bakery.
  • am a realist.
  • am a total nerd
  • have love-handles.
Feel free to add what I forgot in the comment section.


  1. You forgot to list that you're a republican who says the word 'warm' funny :)

    And while I could start at the bottom and comment on all of these points (you're very fit and have run a half-marathon, you insult true nerds by claiming to be one of them, when did being a realist or singing become faults?, etc.), I'll let you enjoy your slice of humble pie and warm you not to be too gluttonous.

    P.S. Keep recycling

  2. This post makes me sad. I expect a follow-up of all your redeeming qualities.

  3. Just because I ran 13 miles doesn't change the fact that I have handles Dave, and I'm still a nerd even if I'm not a computer nerd.
    Gosh, you're so critical lately :->