Wednesday, October 21, 2009

A Survey Of My Faults



In no particular order I:
  • am a jealous man.
  • am quick to judge people.
  • see the world in black and white.
  • am quickly and easily romantically smitten.
  • am stingy.
  • think that every male that I am not already acquainted with is a Tool.
  • think that every female that I am not already acquainted with is an enemy.
  • am overly competitive.
  • am quick to anger.
  • am generally not content.
  • am self-depreciating.
  • complain too much about my love life (submitted by Dave)
  • do not tan, only freckle.
  • am unlucky at love.
  • am unskilled at loneliness.
  • don't take good care of my shoes.
  • am bad with children.
  • am cripplingly introverted.
  • over-compensate for my introversion by being excessively loud.
  • am obsessive.
  • am compulsive.
  • burn bridges.
  • am spiritually dead inside.
  • am a cynic.
  • am snide.
  • am homophobic.
  • don't get enough sleep.
  • am cluttered.
  • am a shell of a man.
  • don't recycle.
  • don't floss.
  • am a cuddle slut.
  • meddle.
  • make too many innuendos.
  • am all talk.
  • can't whistle.
  • have allergies.
  • snore.
  • am technologically illiterate.
  • am a movie snob.
  • am a glutton for punishment.
  • am a glutton for pie.
  • sing in the shower.
  • sing at the bakery.
  • am a realist.
  • am a total nerd
  • have love-handles.
Feel free to add what I forgot in the comment section.

3 comments:

  1. You forgot to list that you're a republican who says the word 'warm' funny :)

    And while I could start at the bottom and comment on all of these points (you're very fit and have run a half-marathon, you insult true nerds by claiming to be one of them, when did being a realist or singing become faults?, etc.), I'll let you enjoy your slice of humble pie and warm you not to be too gluttonous.

    P.S. Keep recycling

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  2. This post makes me sad. I expect a follow-up of all your redeeming qualities.

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  3. Just because I ran 13 miles doesn't change the fact that I have handles Dave, and I'm still a nerd even if I'm not a computer nerd.
    Gosh, you're so critical lately :->

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