Thursday, September 10, 2009

Benjamin's Love Inc. Applicant

Just to let you all know what kind of thing we're looking for in the application process, here is an example of an excellent resume that we received.
If anything, this person is OVER-qualified, were it not for the fact that HE is MALE, it would be a shoe-in.
Go and do likewise young McTasties.



Benjamin's Love Inc.

Position Applying For:
Friend with massive amounts of sexual tension

Education:
Currently in first year of Graduate School working on a Masters in
Electrical Engineering. I also have minors in Math and Physics.

Work Experience:
I've worked at a tutor for music and math. I spent the past two
summers doing research in the areas of communications and signal
processing. I am currently working on implementing a fast algorithm
for synthetic aperture radar on a GPU using CUDA.

Character References:
Alisa Leake
Sonnie Leake
Amy Sullivan
Natalie Glover

Essay Portion:
I was born in Colorado, but I've lived in Utah for the past 12 years
or so. My hobbies include skiing, racquetball, squash, the occasional
game of tennis, disc golf, and playing guitar. I also enjoy mountain
biking, running, sitting in a hammock and reading, listening to piano
music, studying the rules of ping-pong, attending republican
conventions, and a well written newspaper article. I do not currently
play the cello, but I believe my guitar playing background may give me
a head start in that area.

I'm not one to regularly wear any scented product besides old spice
antiperspirant, but on special occasions I will wear some dollar store
versions of acqua di gio or paris hilton and if I'm really trying to
make an impression I'll put on some Sex Stallion.

I have one sister who is two or three years older than me. My father
was in the National Guard in college, but he is not a military father.
My entire family graduated from USU, and includes no BYU fans. I enjoy Carbon Leaf, Fun., Jack’s Mannequin, Collective Soul, Dispatch,
Guster, The Kooks, Iron and Wine, and many other bands. My movie
interests include Memento, Batman, The Prestige, About a Boy, Hellboy I and II, Fired Up, and 500 Days of Summer.

There are many reasons that you should place me above the other
qualified applicants, but I’ll just list two. The first reason being
that I’m the only qualified applicants. The second, I could do things
to you that would blow your mind...

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